Me to You

Friday, September 29, 2006
Title__*::reflections on YBZY..

eh.. i think it wud be quite a long post and a v personal one into e part of me that i had never shared with anyone b4 apart from my bf..

hmm.. after reading e content that yor wrote, it got me thinking again.. (coz i use to think abt it too..) we have known each other for so long but we din really give each other 'decent' presents much.. and i even forgot that i gave u all e pen with ur names on it! ha.. forgot if u all like it or not also.. =P and i noe that i din really give any of u all presents other then that i think.. and din send christmas card to u all also..

talking abt e christmas cards.. i actually tot of sending u all cards every year (i swear) and some of e years i even bought e cards! but i din send them out.. ha.. stupid hor.. and some i even wrote in e content le! i dunno y i din send them out.. one yr was coz i not sure if e add i had of zy is e correct one as she moved hse.. then i scared i send 3 cards but only 2 receive then not gd.. haha.. then 1 yr i rem was coz christmas wud be over by e time it reaches ur hse.. so i din send again.. and every yr spring cleaning i wud have no choice but to throw the cards away.. so silly.. ha..

i also rem there was a period of time (i think its in JC) where i lost touch with the 3 of u all.. i was actually v sad and depress.. coz this friendship meant alot to me.. and that time i actually felt i was e extra one in e group.. ha.. so silly of me rite? then somemore i also lost touch w my other sec sch frenz so i felt really lonely and depress for a period of time la.. and seeing my bf and other ppl like meemum and yien have such strong friendship that last for so many years, i really envy them.. and slowly, i think i sort of gave up getting in touch w YBZY le.. coz i tot it wun last again.. like all my other friendship.. and partly coz my first best fren actually betrayed me and i lost faith in frenz after that.. so start of sec sch i actually had no close frenz at all..

i rem start of sec sch, i use to walk from one canteen to the other after eating my lunch.. so as to 'da fa shi jian'.. and i had to be v thick face to go and join the other cligs.. and i wud always be e extra one there.. and that period of time, i was super down.. my one and only 'close' fren at that time was liting and meizhen i think.. but liting keep going to kaichun.. and meizhen have her own click.. (btw i also forgot y i so close to meizhen le.. haha.. THINK we were pri sch frenz? ) and i rem i always hate recess and winder its so long as i had no where to go.. so ya.. my hidden dark and sad world that i always keep to myself and cover with my smile..

but dunno when, YBZY suddenly got in touch again! and to be honest, i was still doubtful abt our friendship then.. but after soemtime, i somehow know that it wud last.. i have faith in us.. =) so if any of u all feel that i dun care abt this group at that time, those are e reasons la. i m not finding excuses for something that i did wrong (not putting enough effort into our friendship).. i jus hope u all wud understand and.. forgive me..? haha.. dunno la.. but i really appreciate all ur efforts in keeping YBZY going! thanx gals.. and yup.. i really feel bad abt not sending u all e cards and giving u all gifts.. pester me for them when i get back k? i owe u all..~ ;)

lastly, jus hope u all wud get to know me better after these.. phew~ felt so relief after writing a hidden part of me out.. but at e same time, scared of what ppl wud think when they see this.. haha.. fingers crossed! =S

From me to you..

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